Go Obvious To Avoid Oblivious: How to Make Her Notice You

I have a problem, sometimes (okay most of the time) I can be pretty oblivious to what’s really going on when interacting with members of the opposite sex. I’m pretty sure that I’ve missed out on a ton of amazing (or possibly horrible) opportunities all because I don’t really know how to read people. Honestly, in most cases, I’m usually just thinking “omg, this guy is just soooo nice”. It rarely occurs to me that he could be flirting with me. Guys; sometimes it’s better to just come out and say it. Obviously you can’t be all creepy about it, I mean really, no one likes a creep. But, it’s OK to say “hey, I like you, we should talk”. At least… with me it is.

There have been many instances where I had to actually sit there and recap what happened (usually when I’m on my way home from whatever bar/club/event I attended that evening) and sometimes it will be brought to my attention that I really am unable to say guys don’t hit on me because they do. I just don’t notice when they do.

A while back I was having a chat with someone on Twitter and well, it got… interesting.

I had to think about what was being said because I couldn’t tell if the guy was just joking around or if he was actually hitting on me. I’m trying to get better at reading people and deciphering what is being said (no, NOT over analyzing). Apparently there are things that I’m just completely oblivious about and don’t interpret correctly.

So I asked him, and he said he might be. Of course, seeing as how this was all happening online he felt a bit odd about it. I think he may have even said it was creepy, but later in the conversation he confirmed, he was indeed hitting on me.

I’m not good at picking up on the social cues that would lead most people to pick up on this kind of thing, this has been pointed out to me on numerous occasions.

A couple of years ago I was in California visiting my brother, we were prepping for my niece’s birthday. I decided that I wanted to make the cake (awesome rainbow cake btw) so we had to go to the craft store for supplies. Walked in and got the usual greeting from the guy at the cash register, I didn’t think anything of it really, and while checking out we had a bit of a chat. He asked the usual questions; if I was from the area (no, just visiting), asked if I’d gone out much (no, I don’t know anyone really), then lingered when dealing with my credit card and tried to get me to sign up for their rewards program.  The transaction ended and we said goodbye, the guy was cute but I’m pretty sure he was way younger than I would have liked. The minute we walked out of the store my Sister in Law just let out a deep sigh and let me know that the cashier was “totally flirting” with me and asked why I didn’t just give him my number. She pointed out that I was once again passing up a really cute guy who could take me out, show me around and maybe… you know… “show me a good time.”

“um, because he wasn’t flirting with me, he was just being nice and doing his job!”

“No no, he was hitting on you, he didn’t stop looking at you and smiling.”

“That’s his job… he’s supposed to be nice.”

“ookkayyy… but you should go back in there and ask him out!”

“What? No. He’s probably in high school or something, weird!”

And that was the end of that… She still brings it up from time to time when she thinks a guy is hitting on me. Which according to her happens all of the time, not sure what she considers being “hit on” but I wouldn’t really know unless a guy was completely obvious about it.

I’ve also been told on a few occasions that certain guys at the bar/club/party/dinner/whatever tried hitting on me and I blew them off. Oops! Seriously, if I did blow someone off in that regard it wasn’t on purpose. I generally think people are just nice, which apparently isn’t the case because people aren’t really that nice.  Are there people out there who are that nice or am I just being naive about that as well?

So to all of the guys out there… If you’re into me, you should probably just come out and say it. Because if you don’t, I may never know… until it’s too late.

You know, we could just go back to this: