10 Things Two Single Girls Learned While Traveling Through Europe

Lisa and Laura take on Europe!  They went in with the intentions of returning with stories of glory. Despite our (minimal) efforts, sorry to disappoint you loyal readers but Laura’s flirting skills do NOT translate well.  Nonetheless, we promised our blog-mates that we’d submit a blog post, and we did have some funny things happen while traveling through Europe… it just didn’t involve making out with cute French boys. Sigh.

10 reflections on 12 days of traveling through Europe

1. Being alone in Paris on Valentine’s Day isn’t all that bad, thanks to the nonstop flirting of French men. Unfortunately, high school French classes failed Lisa. It may have taken her 30 minutes just to decipher “marry me”, but she can now say she’s been proposed to on Valentine’s Day not once, but twice.

2. Dutch people look like models and life isn’t fair. Although we retract the “life isn’t fair” thing if you’re dating Dutch guy. They’re hot.

And then there’s this guy, working at Heineken, who we named ‘Hans’. Hans appears to be daydreaming of poppies.

3. Americans, rejoice: we no longer have to feel ashamed by Honey Boo Boo. MTV UK’s The Valleys makes The Jersey Shore look like Sesame Street.

4.  You should always Czech the denomination of foreign money before you give your cab driver a tip. On the bright side, thanks to Laura’s 5 Czech Koruna (aka $0.20) tip, we learned how to say “Fuck you!” in Czech. (He smelled like salami)

4.2 …When in Prague, you can never make too many Czech puns.

Reference Item A: Laura’s most prized possession…

5.  Julius Meinl in Chicago serves amaaaazing lattes. Julius Meinl in Prague? Serves pungent mystery meat. At 8am. (Is that Spam?!)

6. After deciding that the front desk clerk in Amsterdam was cute, Lisa and Laura decided to create idiotic reasons to ask for his assistance. Twice. (Tip: 5th grade flirting antics don’t work well on mutes)

7. Love is in the air… on American Airlines, anyhow. Some flight attendants may be doing more than just pouring drinks at 37,000 feet in the air…if you know what we mean!

8. The best part of Dublin? The sound that the cross-walk makes.  It’s like a real-life version of Frogger mixed with the sounds of the old-school game PERFECTION.

9. If you must take a cab in Dublin, make sure your driver is an Irish man, preferably over the age of 60. They will spend the entire ride imparting their life’s wisdom on you. Even at 6am.

10. Laura was flirted with more by the 4 security checkpoints on her layover in London Heathrow than in America. Get with it American dudes. Or at least try to fake a foreign accent.

Alas, our efforts to find a Prince in Prague, being Adventurous in Amsterdam, and Daring in Dublin (and Lisa’s five days spent trying to secure French citizenship in Paris) were a bust. Probably because after five countries, eight airports and minimal sleep, we looked like THIS by the end of our trip.

Womp Womp. That IS good news for you American men – well, we’d like to think so, anyway (although that may be debatable – check out those under-eye bags!) Nonetheless, we are still here, in the good ole U S of A, single and looking.

So tell us, any of you have some crazy foreign travel stories?  Share ‘em with Secret Lives!