An OKStupid Conversation For The Record Books

Meet Josh.

Josh seems like a fairy normal guy. He’s from a small town somewhere in Middleofnowhere, IL (I obscured the town so he can’t be identified, as I’m pretty sure said town has a population of about 5).

Josh has a variety of wholesome interests like camping, boating… and yes, “finishing”.

One day, Josh decided to send me a message on OKCupid to see if we have any shared interests. Namely, if I enjoy camping or finishing fishing.

I didn’t respond the first time because A) I do NOT like camping or fishing (sorry boys) and B) I live nowhere near Middleofnowhere, IL.

If you’re a guy reading this, you’re probably wondering, “Why the hell didn’t you just take the time to respond and say ‘not interested’?”

Simple: I’ve done that in the past, and have discovered that it’s kind of like answering the phone for a telemarketer and trying to be polite: once you engage them, it’s hard to put a stop to the sales pitch.

In other words? It’s easier to play dead.

And then I received the same message a second time:

After the 2nd message, it was pretty clear that our boy Josh just likes to copy/paste the same message and send it to as many woman as possible. Still, he seemed like a nice enough guy, so I ignored it.

…And then I got the same message a third time.

I guess on this day he was feeling really excited about fishing, because he changed things up a bit and put FISH in all caps.

At this point I was getting annoyed, but since he didn’t appear to be a jerk (just really, really clueless), I just decided to ignore the message yet again.

… And then I received the message a 4th time.

At this point, I decided to point out the fact that he was sending the same message repeatedly to the same people.

No, I never did receive a response to my message. However, I did receive the message a 5th time!

At this point, I concluded that this guy HAS to be trolling me – there is no way someone could be this idiotic. So, I took a more sarcastic approach to what was quickly becoming a full-blown “OKStupid” conversation.

What can I say, I couldn’t help myself.

…Clearly, he didn’t get the hint.

… At all.

Yes, I could have blocked him – but that wouldn’t be fun, would it?

I guess he doesn’t like being asked that question. Maybe he’d rather talk about fish?

Your move, Josh.