The Ugly Truth About Modern Dating: There Might Be Someone Better

There’s a new show about love on FYI channel (through A+E) called Married at First Sight. The premise of the show is four experts interview people in order to find their scientifically matched mate. After screening hundreds of people these experts have chosen three couples; the first time they’ll ever meet is at their wedding. They can’t talk beforehand via any form of communication, they can’t even learn the other person’s name. They legally get married and are followed by cameras for five weeks into their marriage, after which they decide if they want to stay married or get a divorce.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, sometimes I swear my family and friends should just pick the guy for me (I tried a version of this in my match.com experience with Kira) – arrange my marriage, because apparently I’m really truly awful at it! This show is practically my dream come true, so of course I had to set the DVR. While watching the first episode, one of the experts said something that rang so true with me and at the absolute perfect time. She said:

“Singles are struggling to find matches because we just have so many options. We live our lives with this attitude that the grass is always greener. We’re always moving on to the next thing.”

The night before I watched the show, I went out with a guy that I really like and get along with famously. After the date, though, I got this sinking feeling that he’s the type of guy that would date multiple girls at the same time. And if Kira taught me anything with my Match experience, it’s that it’s more than okay to do this, but I don’t like doing it. When I like someone, can’t it be okay to just like him? But, in 2014, that’s not how the world works. So, as I was riding the train home post-date, I made a list of what this new phenomenon could be called:

• There’s probably someone better
• There might be someone better
• Maybe there’s someone better
• There could be someone better

Whichever way you slice it, it’s no bueno for singles. Thanks to dating apps, modern dating has made people think that there is always the chance for someone better, prettier, smarter, worldlier, etc. to come around.

Didn’t like the dude’s shoes? Go back online, then click X or <3. There’s bound to be a <3 <3 and you can chat! Then exchange numbers! Then meet up! And he might be better than the guy with weird shoes! Ta da! But, then, he’s not that much better because he hadn’t shaved in three days, or he thought Tokyo and Japan were different places or … But, maybe, just maybe the next guy will be better. And on and on and on…

Even though my date this week was great, my Tuesday guy might have gotten straight on Hinge when I left and clicked through his list of potentials for the day. But, me, I didn’t. I went home, lay in bed, and wrote in my journal with our names in hearts. He was dreamy. The date was lovely. Until my brain from 2014 got a hold of me and shook me awake…

…there’s probably someone better out there for ya, Ash.