Finding The One, If He Even Exists

I graduated in the top 10 percent of my high school graduating class, cum laude from undergrad, and with a 4.0 in my Masters. But this post isn’t one bragging about my accolades, it’s actually quite the opposite…I may be smart in school, but I am dumb when it comes to guys. I’ve dated cheaters, hillbillies, heartbreakers and liars. I’ve also dated nice guys, of course, but no matter who they are, I suck at dating them. I get jealous, I worry that I’m not good enough, and I want attention that they’re not willing to give (and not in the attention whore kinda way).

Hence one of my New Year’s resolutions: Chill the f*ck out. My brain is running on constant mode, which means I analyze every situation with a guy. Will he call? Does he like me? Am I being too overbearing? Why hasn’t he drawn me a picture in Draw Something??

This is why my friends tell me to date multiple guys at a time. You can’t fret as much about multiple guys because you won’t have the time. My theory is a bit different: when finding the one, or at least Mr. Right Now, I won’t need to fret because he will call, he will show that he likes me and he will draw me pictures.

Now, the trick is finding this “Mr. Right.” In the past, I’ve met guys at bars and through friends…I’m still single, so you can see where that got me. But because both of these methods are the “traditional” way people meet, I’m still willing to try. Online dating is also still going strong out there in the world, but that makes me nervous and I hate picking out profile pictures. Also, paying to find a date is against my moral code (for this month anyway).

I want it to be easy. (While looking towards the sky)…please let someone fall in my lap who likes my quirky style, the fact that I’ll blog about him and will wash dishes.

I read an article once where a girl interviewed all of her exes to see why she wasn’t “marrying material.”  She was surprised to find out that all of the reasons why she thought they’d broken up were vastly different from the reasons the guys had thought. After reading that, I’ve always wondered what my exes would say. First, I have most of them on Facebook, so a simple message of “mind meeting up to tell me why I sucked?” would be in order. Then, the grueling question and answer sessions would follow. I’d cringe, probably cry, and hopefully learn a lesson or two. With said lessons, I’d be prepared for what I need to do differently next time, when finding the One.

But, until I get the courage to email every ex I’ve ever had, I’ll stick to winking at bartenders over martinis, rubbing elbows with hotties on the train, and looking toward the sky praying a good one will fall down on me.