Dating

Let’s Face It: Online Dating Has Turned Us All Into Bambi

By Ashley | October 14, 2015 2 Comments

Recently, I went on a dating hiatus and found it to be gloriously freeing. Something about not wasting my time swiping left and right, reading dumb messages, and rolling my eyes at the lack of ingenuity is fantasmo. After six weeks of abstaining from online dating, I was officially the most single that I’d ever been.

Unfortunately, my online dating hiatus also opened my eyes to a sad, unfortunate truth: I’ve been stuck behind a computer screen for so long that I’ve turned into “Bambi on ice” out here in the real world. Had relying so heavily on online dating sites actually ruined my confidence?

This is what happens when I attempt to flirt in real life

I quickly discovered that I’m embarrassingly daft at attempting to pick up men. Once I finally worked up the courage to flirt with a guy in real life, I hit another roadblock: I realized I also have no idea how to reject someone without swiping left. For example, I discovered that a guy I’d been flirting with was wayyy too young for me. However, I kept talking to him, because I couldn’t figure out how to properly handle the situation.

My excuse for being so bad at flirting in real life is that I’m scared to death. I’m afraid of rejection. I also fear that the men I’m attracted to aren’t actually single. On online dating sites, they’re all single (well, they claim to be, anyway), but how do you know such things in real life?! The good, old-fashioned “check the left hand” method only gets you so far, since the absence of wedding band doesn’t mean they aren’t madly in love with someone else.

Or, you know, that they aren’t in the throes of an online dating addiction.

Recently, a future politician caught my eye. He was smart, funny, successful and interesting – damn-near perfect, in fact. However, for some strange reason I could not work up the courage to ask our mutual friend if he was single. As in, I physically couldn’t. What is wrong with me? My other friends have yelled at me, “You are so honest all the time. Why didn’t you just ask?!”

And no… I still haven’t asked.

I met an equally as perfect guy at an organization where I volunteer. Friends are urging me to contact him. “Just ask him out!” they yell. “I CAN’T!” I yell back. I will be seeing him at least once a month for the rest of my tenure with the organization. What if he has a girlfriend? What if he says, “Eww, no thanks!?”

As my mother has said to me multiple times, “You are so confident in every other area of your life. Why can’t you be that way with dating?”

Ma, I have no freaking clue. But the important thing is, I’m working on it.

So, I’ve closed the laptop and I’m working on being a human. Ultimately, I’ve found that leaving online dating sites has made my world a better place. It may not be what the rest of the single world is doing, but I’m not sure I want to date someone addicted to free dating sites anyway.

So, if you’ll excuse me, I need to muster up the courage to approach a cute man tomorrow… or on Saturday… or whenever the weather finally gets nicer.