5 Qualities I Want In A Man

What?! Only five?? Yes, there are only 5 qualities I want in a man, because I am trying to keep it simple.

It is inevitable, when girls get together we will talk about boys, even if we have only just met one another. At a recent sorority alumnae brunch, a girl mentioned a book she was reading about relationships. It says that in the grand scheme of things, you cannot be too picky. Instead, make a simple list by choosing the top five characteristics in a man who you just cannot live without.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Well this teensy list is actually harder to do than I thought because every time I met a guy, another thing I “just can’t stand” gets added to my list. Chews with his mouth open? No-no. Fidgets like he is missing his meth? Buh-bye. Wears sneakers on a first date? Please, don’t call me again!

By now, my ever-growing list has become an eyesore and a brain-sore. Maybe the fidgeter who wore white socks and dress shoes was really funny and intelligent, but I just couldn’t get past the glaring white beneath the table. If I continue to live this way, I will end up with a ridiculous amount of particulars and I will still be single.

Lists don’t cuddle very well or buy me fancy dinners. So that means no more hard-nosed judging, only open-mindedness. So what are the five things that I just cannot live without? Hell, I don’t know! Who can only pick five things to like about their next significant other? But, I sat down and here is what I whittled it down to:

1. Be Attractive

I don’t care that I put it as #1, this shit is important! If I don’t want to suck your face at the end of the first date, then I certainly will not want to go any further every day for the rest of my life. I won’t get too particular here, though, because I don’t prefer blondes over brunettes, 7 foot tall or 5 foot 8, muscular vs. hipster skinny. So being attractive could be any number of things. This leads to #2…

2. Chemistry

Just because you cannot see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Sparks usually occur within the first 10 seconds of meeting someone. But if it is true chemistry, the sparks will last through the entire first date, continuing through the first make-out session, and into every date thereafter. That includes the thrill of hearing the ding of a text message and the anticipation before each date.

3. Affable

It’s true, if you aren’t nice to me then my dad, my brother, my 27 uncles, and my niece will all kick your ass. But, that’s not really what I mean here. True gentlemen open the door, pay for the first date, and offer to hold your purse. All kidding aside since this isn’t Hong Kong, what I really mean is that guys I date need to be socially aware, nice to waiters, smile when others talk to them, etc. Affable guys are happy and polite.

4. Good sense of humor

I like to laugh (don’t we all??), so if you aren’t funny, then you aren’t getting any. I’m a pretty easy laugh, but I don’t do corny and I don’t do stupid. Sarcasm is gold in my book, so if you can use your wit, then there is a gold star for you!

5. Cultured

I’ve traveled the world and I need a man who has seen more than just the Midwest. Cornfields are great and all, but a passport is better. You don’t have to have been to 20 countries or even outside of the U.S…er… North America, okay, even if you’ve only left once…to another continent. It’s important to me that the guy I’m with is accepting of others that are different from him and understand that America may be the land of the beautiful, but that even more beautiful things lie outside of these boundaries.

Now, these five qualities I want in a man are purposely vague so as to be open to interpretation by my psyche when I meet a guy. This list isn’t that hard to accomplish, but when you add in the 100 other things that I am judging every guy on, then it is no freakin’ wonder I am still single.

Okay, I’m working on that! Top 5 – boom!

What are some of the things YOU want in a Significant Other?