4 Surprising Things Men Actually Find Appealing

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It’s an awful plight unique to womanhood – we are all on a mission to become the quintessential polished and put together woman to ultimately attract that equally perfect mate. But whether you gleaned this ideology from a magazine, a movie, your mother, or some freak of nature in your life who at least appears to have achieved perfection, I am here at Dating With Dignity to debunk it.

We have spent many hours and dollars trying to cover up a number of both appearance and personality traits that men have found attractive all along. So put your quest to become the Barbie doll version of yourself on pause and take a look at the four most surprising things men actually find appealing:

1. Messy Hair

I am not suggesting you completely neglect your weekly hair mask or toss your hairbrush, but letting your locks fall into natural waves or curls rather than flattening them stick straight can have quite the effect on potential suitors. Going au naturel makes you appear more, well, natural, and comfortable in your own skin. Add a gentle tousle to your ‘do before a night out on the town and you will subtly evoke in men’s minds what you might look like after a romp in the hay. And even if you think you look gross after getting caught in the rain or with sweaty, windblown tendrils after an intense run, many guys will actually be drawn to you because of it.

2. No Makeup

In a similar fashion, most guys will prefer to see a nubile visage rather than the mask you spend thousands of dollars on beauty products to create. By going bare-faced in their company, you’re showing that you’re comfortable with yourself and your appearance, and we all know by now that confidence is oh-so sexy. Girls who have spent years concealing a birthmark, scar, or freckles on your face with foundation aren’t exempt from this – guys find those little nicks and spots you’ve accumulated –  and the stories they tell – sexy too.

3. Tummies

If you’ve been making yourself miserable trying to achieve Britney Spears’ abs circa 2001, step AWAY from that yoga ball. A little round belly can be not only cute, but downright sensual. Curves are psychologically proven to make you appear more feminine – those softer edges actually tap into unconscious evolutionary triggers that associate your shape with fertility. On a way more conscious level, your so-called “imperfection” takes the pressure off him to have a perfect body too, thus making him more comfortable around you in his birthday suit and cranking up the chemistry.

4. Embarrassing Flubs

What woman can’t pick out a moment from middle school, high school or both where she was absolutely mortified from that proverbial banana peel slip in front of her crush? You can put all of those hours spent agonizing and replaying the moment in your head behind you. Whether you fall flat on your face or twist your tongue in front of a guy you’re interested in, don’t sweat it. Moments like these are endearing to men, and bring you down to earth if they thought you were out of their league (and who can blame them if they did?)


What are some of the other things men actually find appealing? 



Marni Battista, founder of Dating with Dignity, has professional training in dating and relationship coaching as well as training in the Core Energy Coaching Process from the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC). A certified Life Coach through the International Coaching Federation, Battista is also a Master Practitioner at administering an Energy Assessment—“The D-Factor”—which helps clients pinpoint exactly why they are or are not “date-able” and what types of messages they unconsciously broadcast to men based on their thoughts, feelings, actions and attitudes. Check her out on facebook or @MarniBattista

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