How To Survive The Holidays As A Single Person

Turkey and menorahs and Santa, oh my!  Ah yes, the holiday season is upon us.  The eating, the days off work, the family gatherings, the parties…the dreaded questions and uncomfortable situations singles everywhere endure. Surely, we all have that one item on our Christmas list – THE PERFECT BOYFRIEND (OR GIRLFRIEND).  Perhaps Santa Claus is just too busy, or maybe you were too naughty to be granted that perfect gift.  We can offer some unsolicited and unverified advice on how to survive the holidays as a single person and make it through the Ho-Ho-Hope I get a boyfriend for Christmas blues… without turning into Bridget Jones.

I am the first to admit…I am the biggest Grinch or Scrooge November through January.  No. Joke.  If I could hibernate I would.  But alas, life goes on and just like other singles – I endure the holiday season unattached.  Although, at this point in my life I’m practically a PRO at surviving the holidays as a single person.  Want to know how?  Let me let you all in on my 4 secrets: 1) Alcohol – no matter the type, no matter the amount…alcohol helps. 2) Snarcasm (that’s snarky and sarcasm) – when faced with a question you just don’t want to answer…through some snarcasm right back.  Example:  Friend/Family: “So, Laura….why ARE you single? Me: “So friend/family…why ARE you married?” 3) Avoidance – there is no rule or regulation forcing singles to attend every family holiday gathering, friend’s party or New Year’s Eve soiree.  Make like a bear and hibernate in your cozy home…alone.  Where no one can bother you with questions.  Also, see first bullet point. 4) Bravery – when all else fails, prepare to be brave.  Answer the questions with honesty – whether you respond with “I hate when everyone asks THAT question” or a legitimate and truthful reply, singles can always face the situation head-on.

On the bright side, I always have that bottle of Champagne at midnight on New Year’s Eve to look forward to.

It’s always that awkward moment, standing under a mistletoe with the wrong person; no ring on your finger as an excuse to avoid said awkward moment. “Yeah, so how about ‘dem Bears,” you mumble as you play eye sex with the hot guy across the room, your hopes diminished once he flashes his left hand. Taken. You escape, texting your other single friend for a nightcap save; fighting your way through the entangled couples sharing sweet kisses along the way. You make it out alive only to run into the couple making out on the street. Gag. It’s that time of the year.

Being single during the holidays is always a reminder of everyone else’s bliss (or non-bliss depending on the couple, you know those couples, the ones that should have broken up years ago). There’s more love in the air, more hugs, more cuddling to share needed body heat. Opposite of summer, when everyone breaks up it seems (or maybe that’s just my luck), winter is the time where love reigns.

Outside of that, I don’t mind being single during the holidays. It allows me to spend them how I want to (going home), I save money by not having to buy another gift and I avoid the, “what do you get someone you’ve just been dating for two months?” Call me in the spring boys, preferably after Valentine’s Day, because we want to avoid that awkward one as well.

I have always avoided the single holiday blues by spending the time with friends or family. As Laura mentioned, booze certainly doesn’t help. A glass or two of wine at night to knock you out, I mean knock out the thoughts of being single. A good ole fashion lie to yourself always works too. Something along the lines of, “it’ll happen next year” or “I don’t want to settle”. Those keep you on top… for the moment. Thankfully, no one asks me why I’m not married and don’t have kids. I think all of my extended family knows to mind their bees wax and my close family and friends know that I’m working on it damn it. Well, not the kids part, the tall dark handsome rich man thing. Heard a new one at Thanksgiving this year, “if you ever want to get married and have kids”. Hey annoying Uncle that no one talks to, just because I do NOT want kids and am NOT married at 31 does NOT mean I do not want to get married. What a tool. In this case I choose to tell him of course I want to get married and in my head I really wanted to say “but not to a weenie like you!”

I think I lucked out on this one, thankfully my family doesn’t corner me into an awkward conversation as to why I’m 30 and still single. One cousin tells me how she sometimes envies me because of this, I don’t have any kids or a husband to tie me down so I can do whatever I want. Which to some apparently means I am out every night until 5am dancing, drinking and overall being a big floozy. I can’t seem to change their mind on this one, no matter how many times I tell them otherwise. But avoiding the conversation with myself is entirely different… I’m thankful for my friends, who are also single. It wouldn’t hurt to have someone shower me with love and gifts during the holidays (and yes I have cried quietly in a corner on numerous occasions), but I try to focus on others. I figure that if I’m busy showering OTHERS with love and gifts then I’ll get mine, one day.

I like to keep ‘em guessing, so I’ve started bringing different girlfriends of mine to Christmas Eve. Perpetuates family gossip and provides me with endless entertainment.

Honestly, I don’t understand the hype of wanting a significant other around the holidays. Then you have to split time between families, double that with divorced parents, fights always ensue…and before you know it, Nana is pouring you another vodka martini saying that she never liked that young man’s loafers anyways. Merry Effing Christmas.

Now, January and February. Miserable months, and therefore totally different story. I certainly wouldn’t mind hibernating with a man friend then.

Call me crazy, but being single during the holidays actually makes life easier. The thought of having to bring a new guy to Christmas dinner (or worse yet, meet his family!) gives me hives. Seriously. Hives. I’m having a panic attack at the mere thought. I mean, really – family Christmas parties are bad enough as it is. There’s always this weird passive/aggressive undertone throughout the entire evening, and you’re just waiting for someone to start fighting because someone left the onion dip out overnight, or whatever.

OK, maybe that’s just my family (and judging by Chloe’s response, hers as well. You sure we aren’t related, Chloe?)

I will say, however, that being single on New Year’s Eve is kind of sucky. OK, really sucky. My last few New Year’s Eves have been remarkably uneventful. In fact, the last time I actually kissed someone at midnight was about four years ago.

So… anyone wanna make out at midnight? (Just kidding… I think?)

Whether you take Laura’s advice and drink, Nycole’s choice to spend time with friends and family, own your singleness like Brandy, spend time with other singles as Gina does or deal with ‘interesting’ family gatherings like Chloe and Lisa… it’s completely up to you! And remember – if you’re ever feeling depressed about being single over the holidays, at least you don’t have it as bad as Bridget Jones at Una Alconbury’s Turkey Curry Buffet.

Tell us, how do you handle the holidays as a single?