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22 Signs You’re NOT In A Relationship

By Gina | June 11, 2014 5 Comments

You’d think that this would be a pretty simple thing to figure out, but sometimes the relationship you believe is happening, is not actually happening.

I’ve recently realized that a lot of the lines are blurred. There is an increasing amount of people who seem to lack the willingness to commit – to anything. (Especially in the online dating circuit – be warned, you should be patient). So let’s be real here, because some times that’s needed. If too many of these signs resonate with you, then chances are, s/he’s just not that into you.

22 Signs you’re not in a relationship….

If he doesn’t introduce you to his friends, family or his coworkers
Might as well lock you up in the closet because no one’s ever going to meet you. I’ve learned a lot in my life and one thing is true; if a guy likes you he will show you off (even the shy/private types).
If he does introduce you to his friends, he does so by name or starts with “this is my friend..”
If a guy likes you he’s going to want to call you his girlfriend. Anything else is just another way to say “We’re not really together”. Being his “lady” or “baby” is all fine and dandy after he calls you his girlfriend.
Don’t be fooled if he refers to himself as “your boy”
He’s not really yours, otherwise (again) he’d call you his girlfriend.
If he only sees you in private or in the shady part of town where no one (friend or acquaintance) can see you two together
Girl, there’s nothing happy about that situation.
If he only hits you up at night, after 2 AM
Sorry doll, but that’s a Booty Call.
If he hits on girls in front of you, and you’re not OK with it
Sometimes a little flirting isn’t a bad thing but if you’re not comfortable with it then you should say something. If he tells you to “relax” or says “it doesn’t mean anything” then he’s not showing you the respect that you deserve.
If he talks about other girls, in a more than just friends kind of way and you’re not okay with it
See my last point above.
If you spend a lot of your nights with him but still carry your toothbrush and a change of underwear in your purse
You’ve been dating for how long and he hasn’t given at least a side of his drawer or a cup under the sink!? Girl, if you’re going to keep knockin’ boots then you’d better put together a compact “overnight” bag, if he won’t let you leave so much as a toothbrush at his place at least you’re prepared. Ain’t no shame in that… I personally keep a small bag of toiletries in my purse at all times. Just in case. (^_~)
If you only hang out long enough to do the horizontal polka
He’s always in a hurry to get in and get out, he doesn’t really want to be with you.
If he’s never been to your place, like ever…
I get that in some situations it’s not always ideal to have someone over, but if it’s never even been mentioned you may have a problem.
If only your side of the social circle knows
Some guys are private, sure, but if he really likes you he’s likely to bring it up to his friends/family at some point.
If he’s never around when you really need someone, like in case of an emergency.
Stuck on the side of I-90 with no answer from ‘your man’? You’re better off calling a friend or relative if you can. House burned down and you need a place to stay? If he knows and doesn’t offer to have you crash a few days, then you are definitely not in a relationship (and if you are, you’d better end it right there).
When you’re competing for his attention
You should never have to do this, relationship or not. There’s maybe one situation in which this maybe ok, and that’s when his Momma is involved. But even then, you shouldn’t need to try too hard.
If you only do things HE wants to do
If he is your boyfriend he’s pretty crappy – where’s the compromise?! A relationship should be about compromise, it’s OK for you to sit there and watch him play Call of Duty, but he can’t sit through the new RomCom that you’ve been dying to see?!
If you’re the only one doing the talking
He knows everything about you but you don’t know a damn thing about him. – As someone who isn’t a big chatter box, even I know that in a relationship you’re both sharing important bits of information – equally.
If he only texts you
There’s no real communication there – think about it.
If he doesn’t talk in future tense
I’m not talking about getting married, I mean in terms of making plans. If there’s something new he wants to check out but doesn’t suggest you go there – together – It’s not happening.
If he’s completely against PDA
No need to hump each other on the street corner, but he should at least be cool with holding your hand.
If he disappears for long periods of time and doesn’t respond to your calls/text
Communication is important – remember that!
If he’s checking his phone as soon as you’re done doing the deed
Or turns on the TV, makes a phone call… anything but be there with you. He also lacks respect.
If he’s still got an active profile on the dating website you met him on
…Or any for that matter, you are definitely not in a relationship.

But most importantly, you are not in a relationship if…

22. you have to ask.

Relationships can be hard, and with more people doing the online dating thing it’s easier to just move on. As a general rule, I give someone at least a month of ‘pre-relationship’ time before I’m comfortable enough to bring up the “where is this going” conversation. I think that’s given us enough time to get to know one another and decide if this is someone I’d like to have in my life. I mean, if you’re seeing him more often than once or twice a week then play it by ear, but I know with my own schedule it can be hard to fit that many dates in.