Getting Ready For A First Date: A Hilarious Sneak Peek Into Every Girl’s Routine

In my (soon to be) 31 years I have been on many first dates, all with various outcomes. I’ve had casual drinks at a bar, I’ve (unwillingly) had my ear sucked, I’ve been asked to hold someone’s hand at the movie theater (at age 24!) and I’ve even met Prince Charming.

Yet no matter what happens in the end, what occurs while I’m getting ready for a first date never seems to change. Here’s a sneak peek into basically every girl’s pre-date routine.

Step 1: Fantasize about how great he’ll be

The first step in any first date preparation is always to discuss the date and the guy with your girlfriends in hopes of garnering encouragement. This pep talk inevitably ends in planning your marriage to the lucky guy before going on date one. No matter how you met him, you could marry him, so why not start the planning now? All that encouragement leads to euphoria.

Step 2: Make myself busy all day

On the actual day of the event it’s best to keep yourself fully occupied, whether that means shopping for new accessories, going to the gym, or watching slasher movies–anything in an attempt to make your mind forget that you may be meeting your future husband or you could be meeting a loser who rubs his nose every 10 seconds because “someone’s thinking about him” (yes, this actually happened).

Step 3. Make myself look gorgeous

No matter who you’re meeting, you always want to look your best on the first date to make a good impression juuuust in case. Maybe this guy will end up being the last first date of your life! Unluckily for him, this will be the prettiest you will ever look. And if you’d met him before, you’ll certainly be prettier than he’s ever seen you previously. Tonight is the night to dress to impress.

Step 4. Drink or dance a little (or hell, both) because you’re starting to freak

To help the pretty process, it’s best to psyche yourself up with a glass or two of wine and loud music you can dance to. Within this prep period, you will almost certainly want to cancel the date. Send a text or email–anything to stop this awful stomach churning! You can meet the love of your life tomorrow or next week, right?

Step 5. Cancel? No! Yes! Ugh, fine, I’ll go.

Eventually, I get over it and put my phone down. After all, the jitters usually end for me within the first handshake or hug hello. Especially on blind dates: “Yes! He has two legs, two feet, two hands, and two arms!!” (Maybe this makes me cynical, but I was always worried that I might show up and my blind date would have a hook for a hand…)

Step 6. Go on the date anyway

Things can start to get tricky at this point, though. Where does the chivalry begin and the feminism stop? Do you expect him to hold the door open for you? Pull out your seat? Order for you? Pay the bill? (Answers: yes, no, hell no, of course) Everyone’s idea of proper etiquette is different, so what one guy/girl expects, the other may not even know existed.

Ahhh, the joys of getting ready for a first date!

In my life, I have had some seriously awful dates and some seriously amazing dates (And heading some advice from Gina about 6 things you shouldn’t do on a first date). I’ve come reeling from a terrible date one week and met an awesome guy the next. But since I can’t predict what will happen or who could emerge from behind curtain #1, my first date routine is always the same. And head some advice from Gina about 6 things you shouldn’t do on a first date.

After all, in the end I’ll either end up writing a blog post to write the next day or falling in love, right?