Questions You Should NEVER Text A Guy

Texting rules for dating can be particularly tricky. While it’s now acceptable for a guy to ask you out via text, there are a few questions you should NEVER text a guy. There’s a line between “questions that are OK to text your boyfriend” and those that can cause a guy to ghost you faster than a magician’s assistant, and no one wants to be on the wrong side of it. Confused? Relax – we’ve got your back with a whole slew of texting tips for dating. Here’s our list of conversations you should never have with your boyfriend over text message.

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Text messages between you and your special someone are perfect for lots of different situations: I’m talking the late night getting-to-know-you-textathons, the cheap thrills at work with flirty texting games, and the oh-so-important, “Please grab a bottle of wine on your way over!” text messages.

But there are some conversations that are better left for in-person. This is because so much of what we say is expressed through the tone of our voice, our body language, or simply the look on our face. For example, uncertainty, sympathy, love, and comfort can be hard to convey without the touch of your hand, or the crinkle of your forehead – and it’s these conversations that matter most. These are the conversations you should never have via text.

There are several questions you should NEVER text a guy. 

When you’re discussing something deep with your boyfriend, whether it’s good or bad, you need to make sure you do it in person. Likewise, if they want to jump into a heavy conversation – a conversation that should never happen via text – leave it, and knock on their door as soon as possible. That said, in this day and age, there are fine lines to navigate in texting, so to make things a bit clearer, here are four conversations you should never have over text, ever. Better known as the “No. Hell No. Don’t text him, girl!” list.

1. What are we?

It’s been a few weeks of dating, and back and forth texting between the two of you, and you’re ready to know what’s up. Or, maybe you’re not sure where you stand with that gorgeous specimen of a human being that you met at the gym (and have been working out with at home).

The question?

“Hey babe, just wondering if you would consider us exclusive yet?”

Is it OK to ask him where you stand via text? No. Hell. No. That is never question that’s OK to ask a guy you’re dating via text message. This is a serious conversation that you want to sit down and have together at a mutually convenient time. You don’t want to pressure someone you’re dating into saying something they don’t feel, or agreeing to something they don’t want. If they can’t see your face, or hear your voice when you ask if you’re exclusive, they might think you’re asking for permission to date other people, rather than reaffirming your relationship. Or, on the other hand, if you obviously are asking for permission, and you do it over text, you’re more likely to get a response that is pure anger, or sarcasm, than anything else.

2. How do you feel about…?

No. Whatever it is. No.

Whether it’s asking about buying a puppy together, meeting the parents, or getting a whole heck of a lot more experimental in the bedroom (50 Shades, anybody?), tricky questions like this are always best handled off-screen. This is because if you ask this sort of question over text, you won’t get their initial, raw response; you’ll get their well thought out, uber-planned reaction to your question.

If you want her to meet her parents and she thinks it’s too soon, and you ask her over text, she will second guess herself and not be truthful. She’ll say what you want to hear, and not what she wants to say. In person, you’re much more likely to score an honest response, and then have the added benefit of being around to talk it through afterwards.

3. Thanks a lot for….

“Leaving your dishes in the sink this morning.”
“Not filling up the gas tank last night.”
“Ignoring my call.”

In other words, they’ve pissed you off, and you feel an overwhelming desire to pick up your phone and unleash just exactly how irresponsible and rude he or she has been so they know exactly how you feel.

Don’t do it. Put down your phone, get dressed, and drive to work. By the time you’ve arrived, you’ll have forgotten what it was you were angry about in the first place. The immediacy of texting can be disastrous; don’t let it rope you in.

4. Are you angry with me?

It’s been a few days since their last text, and last time you spoke on the phone they were short and a little distant.

You know the feeling. You’re starting to feel a bit worried, you have a feeling in the pit of your stomach and know, deep down inside, that they are slipping away and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Whatever you do, don’t go there! Whether it’s “are you angry with me?”, “Did I upset you?”, “Are we OK?”, or “Is something wrong?”, never ask him this question via text. It will never get you a good response – I promise. Here’s why.

1. If they are angry with you, receiving this text will upset them even more
2. If they aren’t angry with you, they will be now: you don’t respect their space, you’re always looking for reaffirmation of their love, you don’t trust your relationship after a few days apart. You get the idea?

If you suspect something’s wrong with your relationship because he’s not responding to your texts, check up on it in person. If everything seems fine, it is! And if not, at least you’re there, face to face, in a positive to talk it through.

5. “I love you”

Is it OK to say I love you via text for the first time? NO. NO. NO. Save it for in-person. If you’re not comfortable saying it in person, then maybe it’s not the right time.

Hopefully you’ve got the message – don’t send that message! If any of these situations ever come up, don’t hit send. Learn how to stop yourself from texting him. Although texting is changing the communications landscape when it comes to romance, it comes at a price – don’t make that price your human connection.

Looking for more insight? Check out this list of texting mistakes that can ruin your relationship, or learn how to decipher his text messages! 💋