How To Find And Keep A Guy
The old rules of relationship no longer apply and neither do the old roles. What if women are the warriors who are here to create a different future? And what if guys are actually the nurturer who are here to create possibilities where women can bring their unique brilliance to the world?
A gentleman realizes the value of each person he meets. He has no preconceived judgments of those around him. He is grateful for all you, as a woman, are willing to be. He opens the doors to possibilities for every person he touches. Would you be willing to have this kind of modern-day gentleman in your life? If you are, then you may have to change a couple of things!
Here are five tips that will help you figure out how to find and keep a guy and assist you in the Tinder era:
Reverse the Roles
A modern-day gentleman is willing to know what a woman requires of him and deliver it. This doesn’t mean that women get to be mean, selfish and demanding, or that men get to be pathetic, sad, and wimpy! It means women get to be the caring, creative, potent inspiration that they truly are. And men get to invite and receive the feminine energies that will create a future that is greater for all.
What could you ask of a man who you’ve never been willing to ask for before? If you stop being ferociously independent, a modern-day gentleman can offer you a different possibility for creating the life you are truly asking for.
Embrace Each Other’s Contributions
A modern-day gentleman is willing to see everyone’s points of view and contribute to the creation of a different possibility. A modern feminist will receive this contribution gracefully and ask how she can expand what is possible. A modern-day relationship creates more for everyone, not less!
Caring Isn’t Sharing
A modern-day gentleman will care for you no matter what. If you ask him to prove he cares through money, gifts or what he does for you, that is different from allowing him to care for you by being totally present without judgment, however crazy you are being. Caring is about having gratitude for what is, not being a doormat or always trying to prove how you care. Caring isn’t about your man listening to your troubles non-stop. Share with your girlfriends; create a greater world with your man.
Give Up Ownership
Most people get into relationships so that they can have someone they ‘own’ forever more. If that is what you are truly looking for, get a dog! If neither of you owned each other, would it create more? If you would like to have a relationship where both of you get to be more, you need to allow each other to change and grow, and you need to allow the relationship to evolve rather than exclude. Would a modern-day gentleman exclude anyone? Would a modern-day feminist exclude the choice to be more? No… and nor should you!
Elegance in a relationship occurs where the modern-day gentleman is willing to create for maximum impact with least effort. He requests the modern feminist to become more rather than less. The modern feminist turns up her energies for creation and caring, rather than making herself less so the man will be comfortable. A modern-day gentleman isn’t intimidated by your brilliance.
These are unconventional strategies for the free thinkers who know there must be a different possibility with relationships, who know they desire more from their relationship than a white picket fence, two kids and a dog. You can have all of that… and more! Ask questions about what is possible; you might be surprised about what (or who!) can show up!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Gary Douglas is the author of 17 books including Sex is Not A Four Letter Word but Relationship Often Times Is, Salon des Femmes and The Gentlemen’s Club. Gary Douglas is a gentleman who exudes the elegance of living in everything he does. A best-selling author and sought-after international speaker, he inspires people to see different possibilities. He founded Access Consciousness®, a personal development organization offered in 173 countries, helping to facilitate change in people’s lives. Gary is regularly featured in international media and as a thought leader. Find Gary at www.GaryMDouglas.com and www.AccessConsciousness.com. Follow @garymdouglas and on Facebook.